You Can Find Me in the Club

As a teenager and a University student clubbing has suddenly slowly crept into my life, like a bad smell. I still haven’t quite made up my mind about the clubbing scene because for someone who doesn’t drink it’s quite hard to get in to. I went clubbing the other day and I only saw it fitting to write a blog post about it. So here we go.

Let’s start with pre-drinks. Or as some people call it, just simply “prees”. Mainly due to the fact that it’s the perfect time for boys to “pree” girls. And vice versa. There are 3 categories of pre-drinking. We’ve all probably been to at least one of each. The first level is a quiet pre-drink with your nearest and dearest. You might have music playing on a nearby laptop but numbers do not exceed about 10. Then you have the top level where pre-drinks are basically a house party. Drinks are flowing, bottles are popping and people are twerking. Oh and your house gets trashed. The middle level are those pre-drinks that intend to be part of the top level but end up being more like the bottom level. You get there and you see the effort the host has gone to but its just dead. If you’ve never been to one chances are you’ve hosted one. Soz.

When prees are done it’s time to get your dutty whine on and “turn up”. Those first few seconds of entering a club are just crazy right? Even if you’ve been to this club thousands of times it still feels new when you very first enter. You literally judge everyone you walk past and depending on if you’re a potential alcoholic or just a party animal you will then proceed to the bar or the dance floor. If you do go down the dance floor route it suddenly all becomes tactical as you look for a space that must accommodate you and your entourage. Provided you haven’t lost everyone you were with during your trek to the dance floor.

This brings me on to dancing. I don’t know about you but I find dancing the most awkward thing ever so I just like to stick to a simple 2 step. There’s something quite nice about the dance circle you just automatically form with your friends as you internally study their dance moves. Then you get those random lone wolves that will try and infiltrate and break that circle. There’s always one. Especially if you’re dancing with a bunch of good looking girls.

Don’t you find it funny how boys try and move to girls in a club. It’s especially funny when the girl has a boyfriend or girlfriend and the guy just automatically gets shut down. But I think people are trying too hard these days. Believe me I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure being constantly up in a girls face and putting your arm round her isn’t a good path to go down. But it’s not just boys, there are some pretty desperate girls out there too. When you go clubbing, is your main intention to have fun or pull? In my opinion, especially if you’re going out with others, but then again who goes out on their own, is to have fun and if you pull you pull. Don’t let boys or girls govern your night out. You didn’t have a girl or boy before you went out, I assume, so why does it matter that you don’t have one after?

One thing that does annoy me is when people touch as they go past you. Why are you touching me? I don’t know you. It’s worse when you get these drunks who literally barge and push you. I know these clubs can get pretty crowded but there’s no need for that!

Leaving a club is a mission of it’s own. First you have to find all the people you came with. Then you have to make your way through herds of sweaty individuals and stumbling girls who can no longer walk in their heels. I say every man for himself. If you can’t see your friends in your peripheral vision just leave. It’s not worth it. Then you got to find that cab, but then you realise you’re with more than 4 people so have to look for that nice 6 seater. And when you finally do get home you either have the munchies or just conk out on your bed and wake up with no recollection of what happened the previous night.

Standard.

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