Can a Male and Female be best Friends?

The age old question “Can a…” actually just read the title of the post. It’s a topic of pointless debate with a lot of people saying yes but also a lot of people saying no. You want to know what I think? Well I’ll get to that.

First I think it’s important to define the word “friend”. What promotes someone from an acquaintance to a friend? Well that’s for everyone individually to decide. We all have different ideas for who we consider as our friend. I know someone is a friend when I talk to them because I want to not because I have to or want something from them. And we talk on a regular basis. Some of you may agree others will disagree. But I think nowadays it’s important to know who our friends are. Seriously some people out there will drop you without a second thought and the only person they care about is themselves. These people can usually be identified by their tendency to act all pally with you but end the conversation asking for a kidney.

There are a lot of reasons why people will say no, a boy can’t be best friends with a girl and this is normally due to the fact that one of them will start to “catch” feelings. Some argue that the closer you get to someone the more feelings that start to develop. This is why a lot of people that are in relationships say that they used to be best friends with their partner. The people who argue this also claim that people who say that they are best friends with someone of the opposite sex are just in denial. They’re not best friends at all, one of them has feelings for the other and wants to “plough” them. It’s hard to distinguish whether you like someone as a friend or you like them as more than that because to be honest the feelings are all kind of similar. I guess it all comes down to whether you’re sexually attracted to them. If you’re best friends with a spice, then God help you.

On the other hand people will say that yes they can be best friends, why not? I mean why should their gender matter. If you get along, have the same sense of humour and like spending time with them then that’s it. You can feel that way about someone of the opposite sex or someone of the same sex. With people’s desperate needs for sexual interactions these days it’s hard to believe that some boy-girl friendships are completely platonic. One strong point I have to perpetuate this argument is how homosexuals would fit into this. I mean to like someone as more than a friend there has to be a physical attraction right? A homosexual boy won’t have this attraction to a girl so they can be best friends right? But people may say that it only applies to heterosexuals.

What I think is that yes it is very easy to develop “feelings” for one of your friends especially if they’re hot. People today sometimes just don’t know whether they like someone. If this girl/boy is all you think about and you talk to them daily and you get anxious when they don’t reply to your message and just thinking of them makes you smile… oh, and you have “sexy” thoughts about them. Then damn, you sprung! I mean I have a lot of girl friends, I think I just get along with them better than guys and I have been confused in the past about my feelings towards them but also their feelings towards me. It doesn’t help that my general way of talking is a flirty one. But the main thing for me to like someone is knowing that they like me, so this way my hearts intact and things are not awkward. You will never find me wooing a girl. For me it has to be something that develops naturally not me chasing the girl. Have I even answered the question yet? I think I have, I think it’s completely possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex but there is a big risk of feelings developing so just be careful because you don’t want to ruin your friendship by trying to find out whether the other person also has these feelings. Just keep it 100. But also remember there will always be a certain level of friendship between you and someone before you get into a relationship.

One other thing if you are friends. DO NOT throw the word “love” around unless you are both using it in the same way. It can lead to a lot of confusion. You’re saying you love them how you love a sandwich but they’re saying love how they want to marry you and have your babies.

This all boils down to one important point. If you do like someone don’t friendzone yourself. Because once you’re in the friendzone you ain’t getting out. Well it’s possible but incredibly hard. Sometimes you won’t know you have these feelings until after your friendzoned and to all you people I’ll pray for you.

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