If you know where that’s from, good on you! To be honest I don’t even know why I started with that. Anyway back to the matter at hand and actually this is a very serious matter so let me see those serious faces. No, more serious than that… there you go!
So for those of you that don’t know my name is Byran, hello! Nice to meet ya. Some of you may have read that as Bryan, but no, it’s Byran. See the difference… Byran vs Bryan. And that’s just one of the annoying mistakes people make. No offence to anyone called “Bryan” but as you can imagine I despise that name. Anyway yeah my name isn’t very common well the name Byron spelt with an O is semi common but I bet you will never meet someone else who spells it the same way I do. I don’t know what the hell my parents were thinking which leads me on to my first problem.
PROBLEM 1: My name is spelt with an A not an O. And as I said I know the typical way of spelling it is with an O so I can let people off with this. If you accidentally spell it with an O then I have no problems with that it just gets a bit annoying correcting people all the time. Interchanging Os and As doesn’t change the way my name is pronounced which leads me on to problem number deux.
PROBLEM 2: This is where I start to get annoyed. My name is Byran not Bryan. You can clearly see the Y comes before the R so why have you decided to switch it? You don’t get to pick and choose what way round the letters go. Who do you think you are? Please just read the name right. I mean I know they’re very very similar but surely you can see that Byran isn’t the same as Bryan just at a quick glance.
PROBLEM 3: I’ve told you my name is Byran, you know my name is Byran, SO WHY ON EARTH DO YOU STILL SPELL IT AS BRYAN? People have actually said “Oh I thought it was spelt “Bryan” but you pronounce it as “Byran”. What sense does that make? Someone please tell me. Why would you decide to pronounce the “y” before the “r” when the name is telling you different? Jheeeeeze.
PROBLEM 4: This one I don’t get at all. It’s only happened a couple of times. People spelling my name as “Bryon”. WHO EVEN SPELLS “Bryan” like that. If you’re going to call me by the wrong name at least spell it right. You’ve literally just mixed “Byron” and “Bryan” together and ended up with some hybrid name that’s even uglier than my own.
PROBLEM 5: Hearing my name. Literally the worst thing ever. Actually worse than that, I hate saying my name. It leaves a weird taste in my mouth and I’ve actually come to realise that I can’t even say my own name right. People often hear it as “Barren”. No guys I’m not Barren.
PROBLEM 6: Autocorrect. Bloody autocorrect. When will you learn?
PROBLEM 7: Not being able to have the luxury of a personalised item. You know when you go to those souvenir stores and they have all the personalised crap with names on it and you spend hours looking for your name. Well imagine how I feel. I can’t even enjoy the thrill of searching for my name because I know it won’t be there… *sigh*. However I still look, hoping that one day a miracle will happen and my name will grace a pathetic keyring.
PROBLEM 8: People actually telling me that I’ve spelt my own name wrong. So I’ll fill out a form or some ish. And the person will come back to me calling me “Bryan”. This actually happened to me. And they told me that it was spelt like that on what ever formed I filled out. How are you going to tell me that I’ve spelt my own name wrong? And also after I’ve told someone they’ve spelt it wrong they’ll proceed to ask me “Are you sure?” AM I SURE? I think I’m done with humans…
Mum, Dad, why didn’t you just call me Bob?