The Friend-maker

So it seems I spend most of my time bitching about something… so why stop.

So we’ve all been in one of those situations when we’re required to make new friends. Whether you’ve moved school, starting uni or starting a new job, making friends is vital. But how easy is the process? And let me tell you the majority of people out there don’t want to be your friend they just want to ruin your life.

If you’ve been following this blog since the early days you’ll know I had a very… hard experience with a friend which is why my outlook on the matter has changed. If you think you have a lot of friends… you most likely don’t. There are only a few people out there that truly have your back and if that means I only have 2 friends then I’m cool with that. So when you’re put into that new situation of having to make friends you’re most likely at a point where there are a number of people in the same boat as you. And you’re thinking great that means it will be much easier to make friends. WRONG. All this means is that people become friend hoes which I like to call froes. They will literally speak to every single person they meet thinking they’re making friends when all they’re doing is making small talk and chances are they will never see that person again. Trust me if you meet a froe, the next day they’ll pass you in the hallway as if you’re hiding under one of the deathly hallows.

So with me if I meet you for the first time I’m not going to lie I judge you pretty freakin’ quickly. From the first few seconds I can tell if this relationship is going nowhere or if I just have no intention of getting to know you. I’m sure a lot of people get the same feeling. You know you don;’t like this person you’re talking to but because “you have to make friends” and “everyones in the same boat” you feel like you have to stay there making small talk. Why? “To be nice”. screw that. Don’t waste your time, move on. One of my biggest pet peeves are people who feel like they have to be friends with everyone. There’s being friendly then there’s being a froe. Like, no. Mate I’ve just met you why are you putting your arm round me. These are people who get to the insult stage within 5 minutes. You know you can insult your best friends but its cool because they’re your best friend so they don’t really care. Froe’s will insult you so fast thinking they’re at that stage already. No, you just insulted me.

So you’ve found someone who you think you’ve got a connection with and want to get to know further. So when you get home you add him/her on Facebook. That’s cool and well and truly acceptable, Facebook friends don’t mean anything these days. Then you’re there deciding whether to message them or not. And this is the point when nothing can lead to something. To be honest the sooner you message them the better because the chances are you can carry on the convo you were already having in person. If you leave it too long then its just a bit random. BUT BEWARE. Did you know that there are people out there who will simply ignore your messages and even worse start to talk to then just stop replying for no apparent reason. But that’s kool you’re too good for her/him anyway. Identifying a time waster means there’s one less time waster out there to waste your time. HOWEVER if the convo goes well and you can tell this person genuinely wants to talk to you then you have a potential friend. I believe a friendship is able to flourish much better online because you have constant contact with that person. It also proves if someone actually wants to speak to you and not only because they’re in the same room as you.

So that’s new friends covered, but let’s talk about old friends. So there are two types of old friends. The first are the friends that you still speak to on a regular basis and the second are the friends you don’t speak to as much but you both know that you’re still friends. Now in an earlier post I said I didn’t understand how people can be friends but not speak regularly but I think that was just me saying that I love to talk to people. I have a couple of friends who I don’t speak to regularly but I know if I ever needed them they’d be there and vice versa. Only because you’re friends with someone doesn’t mean you have to speak to them every day, you’ll eventually run out of things to talk about. You should talk because you want to not because you feel like you have to, never force it. In fact this isn’t even what I wanted to talk about.

I want to talk about deluded friends who I like to call IDIOTS. These are people who claim you’re best friends but never ever start convo and when you do they’ll say something like “We should meet up” or “I miss you”. Seriously I should conduct some research into this. What goes through these people’s heads. To be fair I have actually tested this. Not spoken to someone for ages then I finally messaged them and they said exactly those two quotes. That’s when I knew I was done. Like that’s not friendship. What is that? Do they do that with all their friends which means they don’t speak to anyone. What I think the case is, is that at one point in this person’s life you did it for them but then they just kind of got bored of you so slowly tried to oust you out the door. and seriously you should let them, in fact proudly march out that door and burn the house down. You don’t need people like that in your life. Often their excuse will be “well you didn’t speak to me either”. But you know when you just know when someone won’t message you unless you message them first. Who are they kidding man?

On a serious note, know who your friends are. If I take the time to speak to anyone regularly I’m not there to humour you it’s because I genuinely want to speak to you and be your friend. I won’t just drop anyone for no reason. Stay true to others and to yourself. Not many people out there are going to stick around so find the ones that will. There will be times when you both think the other doesn’t care or you don’t want to message them because you feel like you’re annoying them. Just go for it, I’ve lost too many friends because of this and I’m sure you have too. You know them ones when you just “drift apart”. NONSENSE. You were both just too pussy to say something to the other.

Friends are important, take care of them.

N.B If someone starts a conversation with “hi”, they’re SO not your friend yet.

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