I put this on my snapchat last night and this is what I learned…
The friend business can be a complicated one… because that’s what it is a business. You invest in something and it either turns out to be a success or a bit of a flop. Now not to dehumanise anyone but when it comes down to it if we feel as though the rewards don’t match the investment then its time to cut your losses and get out. Now I know there’s much more to friendships than this. We’re dealing with real people with emotions and feelings and life can throw a lot of complications at you.
But something I often think about is how someone becomes your friend. What needs to happen for you to consider someone a friend. And the criteria is different for everyone. On one hand you have people who consider people they’ve spoken to and don’t hate as a friend and on the other people who feel like you need to donate your liver to be an amigo. Now believe it or not I lie somewhere in between this but I’ll come to that later. Back to the snapchat. What I was really getting at was how many people in your life time, so from the day you were born until now, have you considered your best friend. Because best friends change, I know that better than anyone. There are times when you think this is it, me and this person are going to be friends for life and then you find yourself complete strangers a year later.
However the answers I got were how many “best friends” people had at this moment in time. So there were a lot of 2s, 3s… a 9 and even a 20 which again shows the difference in interpretation of the term best friend. If I had to answer, I’d probably say 3. And when asked why these people are considered “best friends” the answers were all similar. You know people you trust, people you go to if you have a problem which all makes sense but as I said before these people seem to change especially earlier in your life. I think when you reach your 20s you start to get a better idea of the people that are there to stay. And not to illegitimize anyone’s friends but a lot of people you call your “best friend” may not be there for the long run. Which is actually hard to take. There are so many people I have been good friends with who I still wish I was friends with. My main issue with people comes from reciprocity. I’m putting a lot into this friendship so I expect the same but some people just aren’t willing. If I start any sort of friendship with anyone, it’s never temporary I am always willing to put everything I can into it. If it works it works if it doesn’t it doesn’t but how you going to know if you at least don’t try?
Anyway where am I going with this.. yeah so when you come tho think of it. If there are 3 people on this entire earth than you feel like you can trust and are your best friend that is not a lot of people at all. So what happens when you lose one? Which is why I cherish any friendship I have or have ever had. Now I’m not perfect either I know there may have been times where I haven’t done my best at keeping in touch or maintaining a friendship but I am well aware of this. Friends are what keep us sane and keep us going and it’s important to not take them for granted. Now back to what makes me consider someone a friend. i think the main thing is just making an effort and having genuinely interesting conversations about literally anything. If you care about my life and I find myself genuinely caring about yours then you’re a friend. To get into best friend territory, I don’t know it’s hard to say. I don’t quite know what makes these people my best friends but I know who they are… which I guess is kind of nice in a way. The fact that I just know. I can also measure it by the people who I will tell first when I get a girlfriend. I know shock right, I’m single.
I am always up for meeting new people and making new friends. Mainly because I want people to physically hang out with but also cos I love the art of conversation. If it was socially acceptable to message random people to start a friendship I honestly probably would. Actually now that I’ve said all this… maybe I’m just lonely.